Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Things I am Not, or, Wherein I Am Consistently Stereotyped

For the information of the world:

1 - I am NOT a basketball player. Just because I'm unusually tall does not mean I've chosen to spend my valuable time in utter waste. Maybe you're short; do you play miniature Golf? How about Monopoly? No? May I suggest playing Clue-less? The next time I get this, I'm going to ram said person's teeth into their small intestine. (Or wait, I know! I'll say next time, as long as he's male, "No, I practice self-defense and martial arts. Now since you've annoyed me so, may I ask your permission to try this method I once learned call the grab and rip?")

2 - I am NOT a "computer geek". Just because I wear glasses and am a white guy who doesn't have tattoos or a mohawk does not mean that I debauch myself with machines and electronics anymore than I already have to. True, a progression is natural and desirable, and man will always seek to best his own creations, but the current state of our world and our reliance on whatever new Jobsian trinket is on the market disgusts me to no end. Why have I been getting this one so much lately?

3 - This one I get less, but I do get it occasionally. I am NOT Mormon! People who might see me not in all black can say this (opposed to the fear and arm's-length treatment I get when I do wear it; the older people occasionally think I'm Goth, but the younger generations know that I'm not--instead, I befuddle them so, and they fail to satisfactorily classify me), or who see me as an unusual or religious young man, or (almost always) when they discover the horrific and shocking fact that I actually want a few children someday. A month or two back, this woman I have never met stops me and proclaims loudly, "You look familiar!" She stops to think intently, then a light goes on in her head (or not, depending on how you look at it). "I know! Are you Mormon?" she asks. "You look just like one of those guys that comes to my house!"

Seriously, what's with this look thing? Heck yes, I know stereotyping can work to amazing effect (try it one type, in a non-negative way, the test the person; you'll be interested at what you come up with), but come on, do I give any indication of any of these groups? Just how stupid are people today?

Next time I'm out and about, maybe I'll go up to a black man and ask, "Hey man, are you a gang-banger?"

Is this fair? Proper? Respectable? Acceptable?

I sez...nope. (But mostly, it's massively annoying, particularly the part where my smiling face feels like a plastic Barbie doll's....)



Nathan said...

This one I get less, but I do get it occasionally. I am NOT Mormon! ... A month or two back, this woman I have never met stops me and proclaims loudly, "You look familiar!" She stops to think intently, then a light goes on in her head (or not, depending on how you look at it). "I know! Are you Mormon?" she asks. "You look just like one of those guys that comes to my house!"

HAHAHAHA! :D You have to know that made my day; I wasn't expecting such a good laugh so early in the morning. But to be honest, I wouldn't blame them for thinking you're LDS. Really, with the exception, of course, of a FEW fundamental differences in belief, you have just about everything else in common with a faithful member of the Church, including many personal habits, views, and mannerisms. So, even though you aren't one, you could easily come across as one. (And I mean that in the best possible way; I know who you are, and don't aim to spread the stereotype. But, just so you know why you're getting it.... ;-D)

Nathan said...

By the way:

Maybe you're short; do you play miniature Golf?



And yes, I happen to love mini-golf.


Lizzy said...

Hahaha!!! *diez* -- Ahem. Poor Spencer.

Short person’s perspective: Miniature Golf stinks. I always aim for the water because the game is just that boring. Actually, I do like Monopoly, a LOT. The only problem? I cry and try to help broke people when they land on my property.

And I was about to ask you to help me rewrite my computer’s bios. Tsk, tsk.

If it makes you feel any better, (it probably won't though,) some people thought I was a Nun. O.O --- (disregard the earrings and heels, really- I’m sure the whole ‘bride of Christ’ look was really obvious.) *cough*

Stereotypes stink. We are in agreement. ;D

The Warrior said...

Nathan: LOL, why thank you; I know you mean it in a good way, no need to specify. It's just annoying, it's as if "Christians" aren't allowed to take anything seriously anymore. So, if I mean when I say I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, is that so strange to people? Doesn't bode well for the church methinks (and I know my own example is simply not good enough--*gulp*).

Lizzy: LOL, exactly how tall are you?

You should see me in games...well, war games really. I'm ruthless. I'll hunt anyone down and squash them, over and over again. :-D I wonder what this says about our respective personalities?


Lizzy said...

LOL, exactly how tall are you?

5'2". Shorter than everyone I know. :P Mum calls me 'Gidget' (in reference to Girl & Midget) -- I've often been mistook (from a distance) for being about 13 or 14 years old.

Hahaha... war games are a whole 'nother story! I'm vicious in war games. But I will admit, you sound scarier than me... much scarier. ;P
(Monopoly is too close to real life for me. Especially landing on Boardwalk.) ---
But after all, short people DO plot better than anybody else. ;D (probably more oxygen to the brain due to less gravitational pull or something. You can quote me. *hidez* LOL!)

olde.fashioned said...

LOL, Nathan, when reading Spencer's "I am NOT Mormon!" remark, I wondered what your reaction would be! I think I had someone confused enough to want to know if I was either Mormon or Jehovah's Witness--must be the skirts-only, methinks. ;P

Lizzy: Golf is boring PERIOD. I'd send you this hilarious comedy routine about golf and how boring and pointless it is, but it's really foul, so I won't.


And I love Monopoly!

But I think I can top all of you guys. I had one lady ask me (get this) if I was AMISH. I had a white peasant/3-tiered skirt on, and a coral peasant top...I mean it's not like I had all black on and a kapp--I STILL don't get that!!

Jonas said...

Well, I once went to this psycho-therapist who was convinced I had issues with my sexual orientation ("When you entered I wasn't sure if I should think of you as a man or a woman!"). Sure I quite often get people thinking I'm gay or bisexual but that mostly amuses me, but after three sessions finding a therapist convinced I'm (despite all my words to the contrary) not actually heterosexual kind of annoyed me.

So, know this, Spencer, it could be worse ;)

(and btw, I hate Monopoly!)

guitargirl said...

ROFLOL! Mormon...

Where I live if you're a Christian and not well-dressed people think you're Mennonite. Then if you are well-dressed people think you're Jehovah's Witness. There's just no winning...

The Warrior said...

Lizzy: Oh yeah shorty, you can be Brain, is that what you're saying? :-P Who's going to do your grunt work without the tall ones? :-D

Lauren: Broke farm. :-P

Jonas: :-O Okay. I have it easy.

GG: Haha...I know whatcha mean. :-D

Katherine Sophia said...

lol... that's funny. Good thing I never ask tall people if they play basketball. :)

@ Lizzy, I was so happy when I finally reached 5'2"! Especially given the fact that most of my (girl) friends for years were 5'9"! :D
And people have often mistaken me - and not from a distance - for 12. It could be worse... Anyway, stereotypes Do stink. BTW, I like your oxygen theory. :D

Gravelbelly said...

One of my daughters worked at Wendy's to earn money for school. The psych major ass't mgr. could not find a comfortable pigeon hole for her. "Are you Amish? No? How about that other one that's not Amish . . . yeah, Mennonite. Not that either? Then what ARE you?"

Another co-worker asked it she were allowed to go to movies. She responded that she would go with her father. "Oh yeah, probably 'Bambi' and 'Snow White," right?" When my daughter responded that we had gone to see "Robocop" and discussed it from a Biblical perspective, it about blew his mind. He fairly wailed, "My mom wouldn't let me go see 'Robocop!'"

The Warrior said...

KS: Yesterday I had someone try to get me to play basketball. :-/

Gravelbelly: Oh man, that's hilarious! (Never saw the movie, what did you think of it?) I so know how that is, though; been through it a thousand times. We just break the molds, don't we? :-D