Friday, August 06, 2010

In Defense of Women--yes, all of them!

"Chivalry", by Frank Dicksee

In response to the excellent question posed to me by new commenter Katherine Sophia, I'm going to write an open post about it. Anyone is free to comment as they choose, but my own mind is set and has been as long as I've even thought about this.

The initial question:

Hi, I happened to come across your blog somehow or another, and when I saw this blog, I immediately wondered what you would say to it.

Now take a look at the post she's talking about. For purposes of a civilized and constructive conversation here, I will curb my massive desire to spew vile vitriol at such words.

Here are some quotes from this...this...what word can I even use?

Would-be white knights should keep in mind that they are not only risking serious personal injury for a strange woman, but there's a very good chance she won't even be grateful....

Now, Skripa may have wanted to do the right thing, but he nevertheless did the wrong thing. Now I agree, if it was my sister or female friend getting assaulted, I'm going to do what I can too. I would do the same for my brother or male friend. But a random woman on the street who is just as likely to be the instigator of the violence as the victim is neither my sister nor my friend. And more importantly, doing what one can is not limited to posturing and verbal bravado....

Based on the statistics, half the time the woman attacked first and deserves the beating anyhow.

Are you kidding me? Are you even for real, here? I seem to remember being taught something along the lines of women and children first. Guess this guy didn't get the memo.

1. First of all, this blogger has grossly skewed things, it would appear. Yes, I was not present at the event in question, but neither was he. From the article it would seem that Mr. Skripa made visual contact with a male physically assaulting a female, and then did the decent thing and verbally requested/demanded that the offender stop his actions. Skripa did not attack, choke-lock, or sucker punch the attacker (although all three would have been rather appropriate in my not-so-humble opinion). This is not "verbal bravado" nor is it out of line. Aiding a physically inferior woman from an assaulting attacker is simply the decent thing to do.

2. Said blogger appears concerned that these kind of women are ungrateful of such "white knight" actions. I must say that I agree; even in my own limited experience, with the kind of woman most likely to have this kind of boyfriend, it's likely that you won't get much in the way of gratitude. But to this blogger I now pose a question: is that what you are out for? Thanks?

3. The question of her "deserving" it is entirely inappropriate. Whether she slapped him, cheated on him, cursed his mother, or even kicked him in his vulnerable spot, a physical attack is never, ever warranted when a woman or child is concerned. Was the Good Samaritan acting erroneously when he went to the poor man's aid? Maybe he had said something unkind, and deserved what had happened to him, hmm? Mr. Skripa acted properly; he saw undue force in use, whether or not the woman did anything in the first place, and responded with a reasonable response (verbal, this giving the attacker a chance to desist nonviolently).

4. Whether you like it or not, defending women (and children) from harm and danger is the law, and whatever way you look at it every single man on this earth is bound to obey this law regardless of said woman's actions, words, race, religion, or any other possible distinction. Even though Mr. Skripa was injured, he was entirely just in placing his body to defend hers.

To not act along the lines of what Mr. Skripa did would be both immoral and heinous. Is it okay to beat your coworker because he cursed your good name? Is it all right to box the face of one of your buddies when he's drunk and acting inappropriately to you? My guess it that most of you would say "no". So why is it okay to go and beat a woman?

This blogger is assuming that most women deserve this kind of treatment. I spit upon such philosophy.

To those who feel differently, and believe in something more along the lines of what I do, acting in such a manner as Mr. Skripa will be neither easy or pleasant. Such a man is likely to get little or no return for his efforts (instead he is more likely to be persecuted for it), and to put one's life at stake for the life of a complete stranger is surely no simple decision. He must be prepared to fight, to injure and receive injury, to kill, and yes, even to be killed. (This isn't even counting the mass of possible non-physical fallout that might occur after such an event.)

Being "ready" for such a moment (not counting tactical issues) requires two things in my estimation. One, a man must be ready at any time to immediately step in if such a situation arises in his vicinity. He must be able to quickly assess the situation and respond with like speed. To do this, a level mental preparation is needed. In what I call a form of the "Scroll of Emptiness" (Ever read Miyamoto Musashi's The Book of Five Rings? You should.), you must pre-decide your action for a myriad of situations (which must be produced by a realistic imagination). You must then relentlessly drill these possible scenarios into your head with the appropriate response tagged onto them. If you do not do this, you run the risk of getting cold feet, and, like any natural human being, floundering over the fear and uncertainty of what lay before you. Such mental discipline is just a part of what is necessary in order for a man to act like a man if confronted with any situation akin to this.

Two, an appropriate force "meter" of sorts must be developed and adapted to above mental preparation. Decide for yourself what you are willing to do for such-and-such an event, and decide what you are not willing to do. Are you willing to interfere if a father is spanking his three year old daughter? You shouldn't. Should you intervene if a boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, are simply arguing? That might depend, but most likely not. What would be the appropriate course of action if you see a male starting to push and shove a girl? Decide your own force indicator. My own is mostly physical, but there are some situations when the male might not be physical (at least not yet) when I might respond with physical force.

These are my own ruminations on the topic of defense of each and every woman. I have thought about this for almost a decade now, and this is what I have come up with. Others might have a different philosophy. I speak for no one but myself.

Before closing, I'd like to pose a question to my male readers. (Ladies, feel free to join in if you'd like to engage in some interesting thinking!)

You are a strict Bible-believing Christian. You're the kind of guy that packs a .45 under your jacket as well as a pocket-sized Bible.

You are protesting new pro-homosexual marriage legislation at a rally organized by a strong organization that you have backed for some time now. Your friends, your family, and even your whole church is there beside you, peacefully standing for truth and justice. On the other side of the street is a mass of obnoxious, vile and lewd sodomites. They become increasingly hostile to your side. Two lesbians begin to vigorously kiss and "make out" in front of you and the people (even children) around you. One man from your side of the rally, a stranger, crosses the street, suddenly pulls a pistol, and points it at the two lesbians. They freeze. He demands that they get on their knees, and states that he is going to....

What do you do?

So, I say to Mr. Skripa, bravo ! and well done. Yes, it would have been better for him to have succeeded without injury, but bravo indeed! I say to Mr. Blogger, perhaps, if some day I ever find myself passing you on the street, and see you suddenly accosted by some unknown attacker, I believe it but poetic justice that I leave you there to die. After all, perhaps you did something to deserve it.


***Disclaimer: Above post cannot in any way be taken as moral, legal, or anything-else advice. It is my opinion and my opinion only and I am not liable for any inappropriate uses of above "information." Did I miss anything, or is my butt sufficiently covered now?


The Warrior said...

I say to Mr. Blogger, perhaps, if some day I ever find myself passing you on the street, and see you suddenly accosted by some unknown attacker, I believe it but poetic justice that I leave you there to die. After all, perhaps you did something to deserve it.

Oh, and by the way, just in case anyone takes this the wrong way...I was kidding. K? So unwad your undies, people.

The rest of the post I was serious of course, but morality bids me to even help a male such as this if it came down to it.


olde.fashioned said...

What a @*%$&!! Some scumbag like "Mr. Blogger" I suspect would be guilty of domestic abuse himself; how else could he be so tolerant of such an abhorrent crime?

I hope this coward isn't married. God help his wife...

Also, part of me wonders what kind of reaction this "man" (I use the term lightly) would advocate in response to witnessing child abuse, or heck, even (extreme) cruelty to animals.

guitargirl said...

Cool post. Where I live is pretty conservative in general, yet you'd be surprised at how few people would still get into something like this publicly. Just know that for every girl who throws a fit when a dude holds a door open for her, there's one who really does appreciate it.

Meh. Reader participation. If I knew that someone was seriously going to kill a person at a rally or debate and I had a gun with me I probably would shoot him (Not lethally) in defense of the party concerned. I may not agree with their lifestyle but killing them in the middle of the street with their friends watching would be awful (not to mention all the ammo it would afford the gay community with their whole “Christians are intolerant” whining.) It would be the same as a radical Muslim going into a Baptist church and opening up: what we teach is against their beliefs but that still doesn’t give them a right to take lives. Understand what I’m saying? Hopefully that didn’t come off as too politically correct because even if I did save their lives I’d prolly still have a few words for chickie one and chickie two. ;)

fuzzys dad said...

I say Bravo also.

Courtney said...

I agree with guitargirl - for every girl who will spit in your face for that kind of chivalry, there is one girl who will appreciate it greatly. Bravo!! Thanks for holding this position in a society that is somewhat hostile to these values. You said it well! Wonderful post.

Nuttycomputer said...

Hmmm... Maybe this is going to sound bad but I would not necessarily intervene, at least not physically.

I would absolutely verbally tell the guy to stop and would also start calling the cops and being a good witness.

Intervene however? That one is tricky simply because unlike a situation that involves yourself you don't have all the details and can be in a world of hurt legally (and morally) if you make a bad judgment call. For example is the guy acting in self-defense from the woman? Is it staged in some way? Two actors rehearsing a scene? Or a scenario that is presented in almost every self-defense class I've ever watched or listened to is this: You're going for a jog at night in the park and hear a woman screaming with an assailant on top ripping her clothes off to rape her. She is punching him, kicking him, and making loud noises. Do you shoot? If you did you just killed the woman's husband and the encounter was entirely consensual between the two of them.

As far as the scenario in your post you are involved at this point. You have all the details from start to finish. Do you act? Again tricky. In my state you legally could respond with a quick decisive double-tap to protect others.

However (This is a big however because everyone has to know the laws in their state and know what you can live with)
I personally in that situation would rather use something less than lethal. Step in-between the guy and the girls, or a quick decisive wrist grab to deflect the muzzle to a safe position with by a simultaneous chest strike followed by a grab/break maneuver would be beneficial as well. Krav Maga training would be helpful here.

Or better yet at these sorts of rallies there are usually a lot of cops on standby for this exact reason.

The Warrior said...

You're going for a jog at night in the park and hear a woman screaming with an assailant on top ripping her clothes off to rape her. She is punching him, kicking him, and making loud noises. Do you shoot? If you did you just killed the woman's husband and the encounter was entirely consensual between the two of them.

Why Mr. Skripa was doing the right thing by verbally addressing the assailant first!

As to the other difficulties you mentioned, I feel with your point, and that is part of the reason I say that the decision to be prepared to act in this kind of manner is no easy one. However, the scenarios you listed are the minority in my opinion.

Thanks for participating all, and especially to Guitargirl and Courtney, thanks for the input!


P.S. Krav Maga FTW!

spacious-soul said...

Hi there! :) I found your blog because your sister linked to it.. and I just wanted to say THANK YOU for creating a blog like this one, and thank you for being an encouraging example of a real Christ-like guy who supports rather than demeans women in his posts and upholds good things. It's nice to see that some young men have their heads on straight. =P So thank you, and God bless you.

Katherine Sophia said...

Thank you for this reply! I found it somewhat discouraging I could seriously be attacked by someone and people would walk by thinking I deserved it. :P I'm glad there are still some men in the world who would be willing to step in! I also really like how you encourage people to be ready for situations where they need to do something.
I think I will be sticking around. :)

The Warrior said...

spacious-soul: Ah, thank you very much. You give me far too much credit. :-) Thanks for stopping by!

Katherine Sophia: Thank you. :-) I am excited to hear that you'll stick around, and I hope you enjoy your stay!

God bless!