Saturday, August 28, 2010

I liked it better when the animals were smaller

The comments in my recent mouse post have made me start a funny, joke post about Spencer defeating small animals, in short. I might still try to finish it, just for fun, but at the moment, Spencer likely looks much less epic. :-P I'll tell you why.

So I'm watching a movie and minding my own business, about 45 minutes ago. The local dogs begin barking, and my neighbors begin shouting, but not agitatedly. Being the person that I am, I grab my Maglite, a wooden stick/rod that I use to kill spiders and such (semi-self-defense tool, not worth too much) and go outside. I search my yard for anything. I hear the neighbors shout, "Get your dog in! Get your dog in!" Is it that annoying little fat dog that gets out every once in a while?

Uh, no.

My eyesight is poor, especially at night. A flashlight is never perfect, even with my newish batteries, and I'm just not too good at dog identification to be honest. But I'm pretty sure that what was about a 75 feet or so away from me was a pit bull, loose and on his own.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed automatically.

You give me a good reason, and I would have stayed out there, and under the proper circumstances, I would even attack a pit bull (Ever loved anyone before? Yeah.). But to engage in a risk that I simply do not need to engage in is needless, and stupid. There's nothing manly or brave about it.

I instantly began making a tactical retreat, backing up rapidly while keeping my eyes directed on the target area, knowing I'd almost gotten into more than I had wanted to. My stick feels useless even though I have it outstretched and ready, and the value of the knife in my pocket soars.

I turn and jog to cover more distance. Not liking having my back to it, I stop and turn back to clear the ground, and only then do I make a go for my door.

All is well, and I haven't seen the dog since.

Mice are one thing, but why should you risk your life for zero reason with a pit bull? I'm just not gonna do it, and that's plain tactical.

Spencer

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