Monday, March 30, 2009

Michael Farris on Courtship

Gotta love Michael Farris. :-)

From 2-part Home School Hearbeat email newsletter:

Casual Dating is Out; Friendship is in

Volume 88, Program 29

Many homeschooling families have adopted courtship for their children, rather than the practice of dating. Host Mike Farris talks about the second principle of courtship, today on Home School Heartbeat.

Mike Farris:
Many young people begin romantic relationships when they’re just too young. Courtship first of all requires young people to wait until they’re old enough to emotionally and practically consider marriage, before entering into any kind of relationship.

The second major operating principle of courtship is that there’s no such thing as casual dating. Any date is undertaken with the mutual understanding between both the young people and both sets of parents that these young people are engaged in checking each other out with a serious belief that their relationship may lead to marriage.

Four of my grown daughters have gotten married to the only boyfriends they’ve ever had. They have known dozens of guys, because we encourage all kinds of group activities where there is a mixture of both sexes. But those committed to courtship have been the dominant force in their group activities, and so pairing off has been off limits unless the couple is prepared to declare themselves publicly ready for marriage and headed on that path with each other.

Every bride and groom say to each other, at least implicitly, that they love each other with all their heart. Little pieces of one’s heart are given away each time a romance of any magnitude has blossomed. When each of my daughters walked the aisle, her promise to love her husband with all her heart was literally true.

I’m Mike Farris.


Courtship and Parental Involvement

Volume 88, Program 30

This week on Home School Heartbeat, we’ve been talking about courtship. Host Mike Farris has already explained the first two principles of courtship. Today, he shares the third and final principle.

Mike Farris:
The third principle of courtship is implicit in the first two. Parents must be involved in the courtship process. Parents, particularly fathers, should give their permission before their children enter into any kind of courtship relationship. Likewise, parents oversee the courtship and set guidelines for the relationship with the couple. Before a couple decides to get married, both sets of parents should give their consent.

This aspect of courtship is directly related with one of the main reasons families choose to educate their children at home. Both homeschooling and the courtship model allow parents to responsibly direct the lives of their children. The benefits of parental involvement in homeschooling are well-documented. I believe that there are similar benefits for children whose parents are involved in their choice of a mate.

First, young adults benefit from the experience their parents possess about marriage and relationships. Second, young adults benefit from having a close relationship between their parents and their future mate. If parents have been approving the relationship all along, the chances for family conflict between in-laws are greatly reduced. Third, God promises to bless children who honor their father and mother. Parental involvement in courtship allows young people to honor their parents and to reap the benefits that this promise brings.

I’m Mike Farris.



olde.fashioned said...

Ooh, I was just reading these the other day! :-D He sums it all up quite neatly; it usually takes me many more paragraphs to express it, lol.

Josh said...

Dude I totaly agree with most of what he said. Ido think that it should be between the couple, thier parents and mainly God. I don't think that as far as dating goes there is one set of rules that appiels to all couples/singles.