Thursday, July 31, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

Batman and his "Grapple Gun"

Wait wait wait!

I noticed something the last time I watched the movie I'd never noticed before. Fox calls it a "magnetic" grapple gun.

It's magnetic?

Oh no. And here I've been seriously toying with that idea for The Warrior. Lately I've been developing it even more, but it's existed for ages. My old vigs have him swinging around....

Why is it every idea I come up with is shadowed somewhere else? *sigh* Well, I guess, in the world of superheroes, every thing has pretty much already been done.

Spencer

2 killed in Tennessee church shooting; suspect charged

...Also killed was Greg McKendry, a 60-year-old usher and board member at the church, police said earlier in the day.

...

Church member Barbara Kemper told The Associated Press that McKendry "stood in the front of the gunman and took the blast to protect the rest of us."



Evil never sleeps.

And the most upsetting thing? They were Unitarian. Those who died, they were Unitarian....

Spencer

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Dumb DMV

Hey all,

So, long story short I had to go the DMV last week and take a dumb test. I hate the DMV for multiple reasons, one of which can be summed up with the words weirdos and nasty employees.

Anyways, I had to read the stupid California Driver Handbook for the test. It's about the stupidest thing I've ever read, and remember, I've been reading some dumb things for school lately (I really don't care about Sappho of Lesbos and her lesbian poems, okay?).

Anyways, it's terribly written and must be at about the lowest-level intellectually for something I've read. I mean, it's insane. I ran into so many disgustingly laughable comments that I had to start marking them with post-its so I could make the rest of you laugh. Any many of their little "commands" are based in opinion, not law it seems (if they really are laws, then God help us Californians!). This isn't Driving for Dummies, this is Driving BY Dummies!

Another thing that really really fried me was the constant phrase "Studies show...." Now, in the REAL world if you want to prove your point with "studies" you have to cite the studies as a reference, otherwise they don't really exist, at least to the reader, and everything is therefore useless. A scientist would be pretty much stripped of his tenure if he wrote papers without references! Wait a minute, why am I wanting the DMV to actually do something right, and, moreover, scientifically?

Below are excerpts (all copyrights, etc. given to the DMV or whoever they belong to!) and then my comments.

Enjoy!


(p.11) Also, the penalties for leaving a child in a vehicle are more severe if the child is injured, requires emergency medical services, or dies.

No DUH! All "penalties" are gonna be worse if you actually KILL somebody!


(p. 17) If you see animals or livestock, slow down and obey the person in charge or the animals.

Obey them? Okay, what if he tells me to stop the car in the middle of the road, get out, and shovel up the piles his cows left behind? And then what if he tells me to eat it? NO WAY!


(p. 17) If you see a stray animal in your path, slow down or stop, if safe to do so.

What if it ain't safe to slow down, should I run Bambi over then?


(p. 41) ..."Cone Zone."

Seriously, that's what they call construction zones. CONE ZONES?!?? Is this preschool?


(p. 42) Obey special signs or instructions from workers.

I don't know about other states or countries, but in California, CalTrans (the road construction company or whatever) has the tendency to dig up holes in the middle of the road, fill it in, dig it up a few weeks later, and blah, blah, blah. They've been masticulating the streets all around my work, even tearing up the parking lot and keeping customers out (In the middle of the day and on FRIDAYS, people! Those are paycheck days! DUH!), and there seems to be no rhyme or reason to their work. On top of that, one will work, while five others will watch (no joke). So, since they practice this sort of behavior, are you sure we want them directing our traffic?


(p. 44) A vehicle (even if disabled) that is stopped, parked, or left standing on a freeway for more than four hours may be removed.

After four friggin' hours, it only MAY be removed??? What the...!!?


(p. 47) A road that is normally safe can become dangerous when it's slippery.

Oh wow, really?! I had NO idea, thanks for tellin' me!


(p. 48) If the brakes get wet, dry them by lightly pressing on the gas pedal and brake pedal at the same time so that the car drives against the pressure of the brakes. Do this only until the brakes dry.

What, you want me to get out, rip off the hub cap ala Grendel at the mead hall doors, and poke around the brakes to make sure they're dry for you?


(p. 48) Avoid driving near accidents, if you can.

Not so, oh DMV cronies, I always use my crystal ball to foresee car accidents so I can plan them in my roadtrip itinerary, just for fun!


(p. 48) Never drive to the scene of an accident, fire, or other disaster to look. You may be arrested for doing this.

Arrested!?!?


(p. 49) Call the nearest humane society or call the police or CHP, if you kill or injure an animal.

OH NO!!! There's a bug on my windshield! Hold on, I gotta pull over so I can call the cops!


(p. 50) Do not allow anyone to ride in the trunk of your vehicle.

Uhm, yes, shouldn't you be telling the Italian mafia that, and not me?


(p. 50) Do not transport animals in the back of a pickup or other truck unless the animal is properly secured.

That's right, people, you should start using your tire chains on Sparky.


(p. 50) Do not litter the roadside.

You mean I'm not supposed to do that? I thought since there was so much around that we were supposed to help contribute, just like we're supposed to go with the flow of traffic. Oops...


(p. 51) Do not shoot firearms off on a high-way or at traffic signs.

Aww, shucks, that was my favorite pastime, too!


(p. 51) You must use your headlights 30 minutes after sunset and leave them on until 30 minutes before sunrise.

Oh no, how long is it till sunset? 29 minutes?! No! That means we're going to JAIL!!!


(p. 51) You must dim your lights to low beams within 500 feet of a vehicle coming toward you or within 300 feet of a vehicle you are following.

Yeah, so you have any advice on how to actually measure that?


(p. 52) Drivers who know they are deaf or hear-ing-impaired an adjust.

I'm deaf? Egad, I never knew that!! GASPS!!!!!


(p. 52) The body naturally wants to sleep at night and most drivers are less alert at night, especially after midnight.

Congratulations on learning the basics of diurnal creatures.


(p. 53) [to stay awake] Try chewing gum or singing along with the radio.

Uh, not sure about anyone else, but when I sing, I tend to keep others awake, not myself. Pretty sure that will result in a disturbance call to the police.


(p. 53) [do not] Mix medications unless directed by your physician.

STOP! No more Metamucil and milk of magnesia together, peeps!


(p. 54) Minor's Permit Restrictions
You must practice with a parent, guardian, spouse, or an adult 25 years of age or older....


Lemme get this straight. You're a minor, you're married, and your spouse is 25 years or older? Dude!


(p. 54) The person must be close enough to take control of the vehicle at any time.

Well, considering that most DMV employees around here at foreigners, this begs the question what are cars like in their own countries, because where I come from, nobody but the driver's gonna be able to reach the gas and brake, man.


(p. 56) DMV will be watching your driving record....

Oh noes, it's back! It's...it's...BIG BROTHER!!!!


(p. 58) Do not enter the intersection if you cannot get completely across before the light turns red.

If Batman can do it in his Tumbler, then why can't I?! *stamps feet*


(p. 65) At night, make yourself more visible by wearing white clothing and retro-reflective materials....

Do you know me? You must not, because if you did, you'd know there wasn't a single way on God's green earth you could get me to sparkle.


(p. 66) park in high-traffic, well-light-ed areas, whenever possible

Well-lighted? Isn't it supposed to be well-lit?


(p. 66) Install a mechanical device that locks the steering wheel, column, or brakes.

Forget all that fancy-schmancy stuff, I recommend snakes. Works like a charmer...er, I mean charm.


(p. 67) ...refrain from phone conversa-tion during the traffic stop.

Hang on there, officer, I gotta answer this call! It's my girlfriend, and I'm late for our date!


(p. 70) Exiting your vehicle without first being directed to by an officer can increase the risk of being struck by a passing vehicle.

...Whereas if a cop tells you to do it, you'll magically be protected by an invisible force field.



And I think it said in there somewhere that bikes can drive on the freeway (supposedly they're no different than cars), and there's even this diagram that tells you to STRADDLE the two lanes on a two-lane road if there's a bicyclist. What the?!?!?

Oh, man. That's enough supreme idiocy for one day.

Spencer

The Manly Sacrifice of Ross C. McGinnis & Michael Monsoor

Finally.

A real man or two.

Why Would an Evolutionist Become a Doctor?

...Going to medical school and devoting one’s life to helping the weakest among us to survive should be the last thing a consistent evolutionist would want to do. From the evolutionary point of view, man is just another rung on the evolutionary ladder and is evolving to something even “better.” If evolution is a good thing, having produced us en route to a better product in the future, why would an evolutionist want to help the weak to survive? Doesn’t the practice of medicine itself work against the primary driving force of biological progress? If evolution is really the key to progress, then the physician generally interferes when he helps those who are “less fit” survive and reproduce.

Darwin himself understood this issue:

With savages, the weak in body and mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health. We civilised men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed and the sick; we institute poor laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of everyone to the last moment. There is reason to believe that vaccination has preserved thousands who, from a weak constitution, would formerly have succumbed to smallpox. Thus the weak members of civilised society propagate their kind.

No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but, excepting in the case of man himself, hardly anyone is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed....


That is Evolution.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

What the Bleep?! by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris. He-man. Big mighty he-man!

;-P

Spencer

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The WHAT of the Opera?

Seeing that yesterday was Nathan Cunningham's birthday, my sister made him a present!

Now, behold, we have....

The one, the only--

Wait a minute. We can't call him Sly Pig anymore. Remember?

So....

Behold, the one, the only....

ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE SLY PIG!!!!!!!!



LOL, sorry bud. Just couldn't resist.

Spencer

Monday, July 21, 2008

Mervyn's in trouble?

Uh-oh.

Time for some extraction operations!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Warrior: Advent of the Nucleic Union: A Lego Vignette

The Warrior yet again is immersed in strange war....

For many months, The Warrior has heard much hearsay about a peculiar crime group. This group, or gang, appears to be on a much larger scale than the usual baddies of the city that must be subdued. No, mere crime is simply not enough for these...evil ones, these...terrorists--for that is really all that they can be called. Terrorists.

They call themselves the Nucleic Union. Why? That's a long story....

Over a year ago, the leader of the Nucleic Union apparently had a great event of sorts occur in his life. Little is known about what happened, or even about the man himself. Known simply as "Samson," apparently a terrible nuclear accident affected him so much as to turn him into a brutal fanatic. It is not even known where this accident took place, if Samson himself was affected, or perhaps someone he cared for. The true details are entirely unknown.

What is known, however, is that soon after this Samson founded the Nucleic Union: a "union" of rabid environmentalists bent on destroying any and all semblances of everything nuclear (hence, "Nucleic").

Clad in heavy black-and-white armor and armed with the most advanced, and also most destructive of weapons, the soldiers of the Nucleic Union have pledged to destroy. Their targets? Military installations, nuclear power plants, and anything and everything that gets in their way in the process. Their self-professed goal? "We will wipe our world clean of the great atomic evil."

Perhaps it would have been more fitting to say "wipe out".

After getting under way on a major scale, the Nucleic Union embarked upon a massive and brutal war. Many deaths across the nation, and even the world, have occurred as these men go about and do what they have sworn their lives to do; destroy. Three nuclear power plants around the world have successfully been destroyed, one British army base attacked, and many other small raids were undertaken, often with success. Another attempt to destroy several nuclear warheads (in the possession of the United States) as they were en route to an undisclosed location in the south Atlantic met with disaster. However, even considering, little information was gained. Due to the shroud of mystery surrounding the Nucleic Union and the military's own unwillingness to release clear details concerning the affair, it is unknown whether any NU soldiers were captured. However, if any had been, they likely would have done that which they have been known to do before: activate a self-destruct mechanism built into their suits, committing suicide. The explosives work with great effect; two NU men did this during the British army base attack, and few bits of their suits, and none of their bodies, were ever found.

A discernible trail began to emerge, however, as more and more fellow monsters joined the Union. Though next to nothing is known of Samson and the Union's origin (as well as the explanations for their technological and combat abilities), other members do have backgrounds. Evidence indicates that Samson himself may originally be from Canada, and most of the other soldiers also come from Western countries--developed countries, countries where radical talk of global warming, the environment, and the "evils of war" are open topics of discussion.

After the third power plant was destroyed, The Warrior's interest was definitely piqued. The plant being less than fifty miles away from his own base of operations, he steps up his patrols, just in case.

One dark night, The Warrior gets some information that indicates the Nucleic Union have raided a secret U.S. government laboratory deep in his own city, and having successfully obtained a microchip with major national security secrets contained on it (many of them concerning Uranium enrichment), they are on the run, making their escape. The Warrior, knowing full well the massive (and international) implications of this information being compromised (and there is even evidence that the NU is beginning to experiment with destructive nuclear technology themselves, in an ironic and brutal twist of logic), takes an educated guess based on his own research into the Nucleic Union (though a guess nonetheless), and rushes to the area of the city where he thinks they might try to make a quick escape--the Asian district.

And, bingo.

He finds them. The Warrior had been right; they'd been using the underground subway system to do their brutal work. A veritable mini-army of them clamber out of several unmarked vans and head towards the entrance to the Katsuki station.

Descending upon them with a fierce urgency altogether new to even The Warrior, he begins his business. Disarmed early in the conflict, he is thus forced to fight hand-to-hand. The NU soldiers, though ferocious and unusually high-tech, are altogether unprepared to face a martial artist with such skill, speed, and agility.

With an undoubtedly apocalyptic outcome if defeated, The Warrior attacks with unbridled ferocity.

This is the Advent of the Nucleic Union.






Desperate combat.




The microchip.




BOOM!




Attack!




One down.




Which one is Samson?...or is he even here?



Dr. Paleo Ph.D. / Histo-Sci

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Black Belt Magazine Archives: Kelly McCann

Well, here's that combatist I posted about a little while ago. I just found him on BBM's website. I haven't had the chance to look over this much yet, but it will at least provide my interested readers with something to go by on this guy....

Spencer

P.S. Oh, and I got my September issue today. If you can, grab one; it's got an article on the martial arts in The Dark Knight. I hope to read this one tonight. :-D

The Art of Manliness Guide to Snakes Part 1: Know Thine Enemy

Just the sight of a slithering snake can send a shiver down even the manliest spine.


They don't sends no shiver down dis spine. ;-D Why? 'Cause I like 'em. :-D

...

Anyways, for some time I've been meaning to highlight AoM (The Art of Manliness) here. It's a fantastic website, and the forums are worth some serious browsing. I'm a member now, and enjoy it heartily. Basically it's just one grand site where one revel's in their communal manliness. ;-P Of course, a possible downside is that women can now get inside our heads just by lurking.... :-O

Spencer

The Warrior: Mecha Shock: A Lego Vignette

What on earth?



The Warrior, much to his shock, is suddenly confronted with a giant mecha robot. This mecha, armed with a high-powered laser blaster, missiles, and a shoulder-mounted gatling gun, seems to be only concerned with killing The Warrior, and has absolutely no interest in anything else. For what seems like forever they battle, leaving a path of destruction behind them. Exhausted and battered, The Warrior fails to leap far enough away from the last laser blast. It strikes a telephone pole, and The Warrior is tossed through the air....


Dr. Paleo Ph.D. / Histo-Sci

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Indymac

Having worked at Wells Fargo, I've become a bank snob. Only WF will do for me anymore, and I like to have fun with this attitude. ;-P So, I apologize in advance for my seeming meanness, and to anyone at Indymac or whatever--I'm only teasing. ;-D

Bye bye, little Indymac bank!
Drove my Chevy to the bankie but the bankie was dry!


8-P

I'm so bad.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Poetry and Other Deadly Pursuits

Perhaps his best post ever. Just had to cross-post it.

I've never met an Uruk Hai warrior, but I've known more than one "average back-alley Mordor variety orc"s.

They were all cowards.

Spencer

Friday, July 11, 2008

OpenCongress.org

Ooh! Looks like we've got some good bills on board. Let's seem 'em passed!

H.J.Res.97 Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States relating to parental rights.

H.J.Res.96 Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States to permit the penalty of death for the rape of a child.

S.J.Res.43 Marriage Protection Amendment

BFRO: Jacobs Photos - Pennsylvania, 9/16/2007

A fantastic analysis of the promising photos that came out last year.

Spencer

Typhoon: A Review

Finally, I get around to it, huh? ;-D



So, the film centers around (no surprise) the North-South situation in Korea. Directed by Kwak Kyung-Taek, and featuring Lee Jung-Jae and the famous Jang Dong-Gun (of Tae Guk Gi fame), I found it to be a movie that was really enjoyable. It wasn't absolutely fantastic, but I would like to own it sooner or later.

If anyone saw Kang Je-Gyu's famous film Shiri (Kang also directed Tae Guk Gi), they can probably attest to the fact that they were lost for a lot of the movie. It was a great movie, but was difficult to follow a bit. Well, Typhoon was the same in this regard, but at least we weren't confused with two partners who looked practically like twins (as in Shiri). The confusion came from a mixture of things; quick editing (similar to Batman Begins, I would say), etc. I'm always inclined to say that it's the cultural barrier that can contribute to this sort of thing as well. It also doesn't help when some of the characters speak English (particularly one) and there are no subtitles (the US release has only subtitles, and was not dubbed) on the screen when he's talking. He's hard to understand! ;-D I did find that on the third time I watched it, I was still catching little nuances of the plot and so forth, so I'd recommend watching it at least twice to fully appreciate it. It's one of those kinds of movies.

So how's the eye candy? Okay, not too bad. It's more of a story than anything else (it's another emotional ripper, similar to Tae Guk Gi but at least not nearly as sad), but we do get treated to a car chase scene (WAAAAAY too short people!), some good Navy Seal-esqueness, and a really nice knife fight at the end of the film. (I won't spoil anything, but do yourself a favor and watch this fight closely; that's about the most interesting way I've ever seen anybody get stabbed in a movie, hands-down! Spectacular.)

Also of interest is the international nature of the film. We get lots of international intrigue, and we are transported several different countries. Also of interest is some Russian stuff thrown in, very fitting and it adds to the nature of the plot convincingly.

The acting was just fine in my opinion. Perhaps not the most moving performances ever, but Jang again does a fine job (particularly in one Tae Guk Gi-esque tear-jerking scene). One might say he didn't do as well as he did in Tae Guk Gi, but I'd attribute that more to the fact that he didn't have as big an oppurtunity in this film. In Tae Guk Gi, he drove the film. In this one, he's the only thing keeping the story afloat, yes, but there are other themes that drive it as well. I do have to admit that Sin's character is the primary vessel in Typhoon, and we see the man convincingly driven by pain, hate, and anger (expect no plot spoilers from me on that one!). It was similar to the job he did in 2009: Lost Memories. Nothing to complain about!

Morality. Well, the "hero" of the story, Korean officer Kang Sejong, is a pretty good guy. The "bad guy" in the film, a pirate originally from North Korea called "Sin" (played by Jang Dong-Gun), is not a good guy!

In the end, we are shown why Sin is such an evil monster. His childhood was filled with terrors that no boy should have to go through. Still, that is no excuse, and the film also takes that stance (Kang says something to that very effect at one point).

But, we do get to a point where the hero, Kang, is beginning to feel for Sin. At one point in a letter to his mother he says that he would like to have Sin as a friend, if things had turned out differently. Still, kudos to Kang for carrying out his duty and fulfiling his mission.

Towards the end of the film we're given clear indications of the growing feelings of brotherhood between these two men. Sin at one point cries out, "You know what's so f***** up about this? We understand each other!" The one issue I had with this was at the very end of movie, when Kang says that Sin's desire was only to be remembered. This was completely out of place for the film I thought; watch it and you'll see what I mean (basically, Sin's no ordinary pirate, he's a pirate with a plan, and that plan would fit well into a grand James Bond film).

Some other points of moral interest would be:

1) To fulfill his mission and track down Sin, Kang aggressively carjacks another baddie with knowledge of Sin's whereabouts, shooting the two men inside without giving them a chance to even blink. To get the necessary information out of him, Kang shoots him in the leg.

2) [Warning: SPOILERS!]
To get Sin to come out into the open, the South Korean agents (Kang is obviously one of them) get Sin's sister, and, basically, kidnap her. Long story short and without giving too much away she is unaware of her own kidnapping (through trickery they succeed in makinge her believe that something else is occuring) until a little while later. However, Kang treats her with respect and takes care of her, and even seems to feel sorry for her (there's a good reason for that, too). At one point it the South Korean agents are given orders. The viewer never fully learns these orders, but we do know that Kang objects to them, as they deal with Sin's sister. {At this point Sin had already turned himself in and is with his sister, both under the Southern agents' custody.}

After getting these orders, the agents come in and try to separate Sin from his sister (one agent racks his pistol, making his intent clear). Naturally Sin fights, although his sister is shot in the ensuing firefight. (This is why I say the orders are never fully known: was Sin's sister to be killed as well, or was it an accident? The scene itself makes this unclear as well.) However, Kang has nothing to do with this. More kudos to him in that he also doesn't switch sides like so many movies and start fighting his former comrades.


Oh, and a last comment on the movie's morality is that the film is deliciously sex-less. :-D No fast-forwarding is needed here--unless of course you have extreme difficulty seeing lead, cold steel, or angry North Korean pirates.

Sin professes a belief in a form of afterlife (where they go to meet those already dead), as does another villain, who dies singing a song about going to a "temple" to wash his "sins away". Also, for those who have trouble with violence, this film is overall pretty easy (which makes me think the R rating came more than just the violence), but there is one scene where a man is stabbed to death, and while not very bloody, the man's muffled cries are pitiful.

All in all, a very good film. Full of intrique and plot twists, a definite thinker, and with some good action. A good Navy Seal fight at the end, and the knife fight, while not nearly as well choregraphed as fights in films such as Batman Begins or The Bourne Identity, is a great scene. And the score, while not overly fantastic, has some really nice recurring elements in it that I fully enjoyed.

The best line in the movie, without a doubt, was Sin's. "If anything happens to my sister...I'll cut your throat."

**** Stars!

So...go see it!

Spencer / Dr. Paleo Ph.D.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Trouble finds Tim McGraw at Washington state show

A statement from McGraw's representative says he witnessed the man rush up and attack a female, and he intervened when security couldn't respond quickly enough.

Yeehaw!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The Question of the Day: Iran

Iran Gen.: Our finger is always on the trigger
McCain, Obama slam Iran's missile test

And...I'm getting nervous.

I've talked about the possibility of war with Iran forever, probably long before this blog came into existence.

But it's no longer this far-away possibility, this topic of discussion for politicians, generals, and armchair warriors.

The possibility of war with Iran is getting more and more real by the day.

And if and when it happens...are we going to do anything about it? It depends on the president we get. Obama will neither fight nor will he back up Israel. I'm no McCain fan, but I hope to God he gets in because he's our only shot. I don't know if he'll do it right, but still, he'll do it better than Obama.

Obama will be a stain on the American flag. Obama is a monster. Now, Ahmadinejad, and these maniacal Muslims? Way, way worse.

So...is it war, or is it not?

Spencer

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Conversations....

[Customer]: "Trust me, when you're older and married, you won't know your account numbers."

[The Paleo]: "I don't know my account number. And I'm not married! [laughs] I don't think I could get anyone to take me anyway...."

[Customer]: "Oh you will eventually. You've got time, just get them to date you first."

[The Paleo]: "Ohhh! So that's why!..."

;-D

Spencer

Sunday, July 06, 2008

BOYCOTT!!!

Don't they know any better? Not that I ever wanted to kill myself on a McFat burger or anything, but still, they won't ever be getting any of my money. They better fix this!

Spencer

Notice anything new...

...on my sidebar? Besides a whole bunch of new links?

Well, in case you still can't find it....


TA-DA!



The new constitutional amendment to protect parents' rights that's been introduced would be a blessing, if passed.

Spencer

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Crazy days at Wells Fargo...

The day before yesterday as I was about to leave work I was called by a coworker from across bank.

"Spencer! There's a cricket! Come get it!"

"I can't come right now!"

"Then I'm gonna kill it!"

"______, leave it! I can't come right now!"

We had another shout-cussion a few minutes later with more threats of cricket murder. ;-) However, I was able to make my way over there when I was officially off for the day.

"It's probably suffocated to death by now!"

He had it under a coffee cup lid, with a box of Kleenex on top of it for good measure to prevent any "great escape". I took a quick peek, and as it was a lively one, asked for a piece of paper. He got one for me, and I scooped it up under the lid.

He looked at another banker. "Scientist is here! You wanna see this?"

The paper shifted, and an antenna poked out.

"You're gonna smash it's antlers!"

"They're not antlers, they're antennae!"

[Other Banker] "Everyone knows crickets have antlers!"

I took it outside, and let it go. I brought the guy his coffee lid and paper back.

"Here you go."

"What?"

"Here!"

*leans back* "I don't want that!"

"Then what do you want me to do with it?"

"It's called trash!"

A minute later I said, "I think it was a female, but I didn't get a close look at it." *no answer*

And all this was interspersed between work talk as I was giving him some information he needed.

Oh! And amongst all of this, we discussed guns and crab cakes, all in the same day. ;-D

Yesterday....

He shot a rubber band at one of the female tellers. It was only a little one and he did it all in playfulness, but whenever that happens, the guy in question gets a (equally playful) volley of rubber bands, only bigger ones. (Did you know that the larger, wider rubber bands are much more accurate, and also force, and thus pain, when they hit?)

So, I fired one or two at him, and a mini war commenced that carried on for a little while. I hit him in the stomach, which he said hurt. :-P He shot me right in the back, near the spine! We both congratulated each other on the good shots, him saying, "That hurt! I'm fat, and when you're fat, it hurts!" He's only slightly heavy, but I did get a good gut shot in there....

At one point he grabbed a pair of shades from somewhere as if he was an action hero (Chow Yun-Fat? We're both fans of The Replacement Killers.) and, opening the door to one of the back rooms, hid himself halfway with the doorjam, covering himself whenever I aimed. We both missed each other on that one, but still, it was great fun....

Ahh. Good times. :-D

Spencer / Dr. Paleo Ph.D.

P.S. Yesterday morning, before the War of the Rubber Bands, "Other Teller" told me a story about how I had thus inspired him to allow a cricket to live. 8-D